There is an unbelievable stock of books that will tell you "how to negotiate". I even wrote one myself ["Learning to love Albert"]. I wrote it because clients kept asking me to write it. I must tell you though; I never wanted to teach people "how to negotiate". Still, through my professional life I have been front-and-centre for negotiations in Australia, China, Japan, England, France, etc. For me it always came down to negotiating the narrative not the outcome. Most people want a certain outcome. I always need a narrative that works for both sides of a negotiation [see photo].
I discovered in Japan that they always knew more about me than I knew about myself. And they do that because they love to negotiate long-term deals. They want to lock you into their narrative for success. In China they negotiate with you if you are Guanxi [part of a familial network]. They focus on price because they are motivated to make money but the deal actually hangs on the Guanxi connection [trust]. After a deal made with a Mainland China firm I noted that we walked away with a contract written in Chinese and they left with one written in English. The bond was not the contract but the trust established by Guanxi. In England we negotiated a contract. In France we re-negotiated a failed contract.
Within all negotiations there is a fundamental mismatch. One side is negotiating based on their wants. Meanwhile the other side is negotiating based on their needs. What makes most negotiations processes so dynamic is that those who negotiate on wants can not "walk away" [sometimes a fatal flaw]. They often act like a gambling addict at the tables in Las Vegas who continues to chase his wants even though he is losing with each new spin of the roulette wheel. Thus any "wants based"negotiation can be long and protracted yet still remain unresolved. However if that same man is negotiating based on his needs he can "walk away" at any time because he has a core set of requirements not an endless list of whims. When in this mode a man can proceed to negotiate a narrative that meets his core needs and also gives the other side of the deal as many of their wants as possible.
The real issue with negotiations for most people is that they think they know what they want. However they rarely know what they really need.
Richard.
Minimal-you is usually found through a simple process that transforms you. You can find your minimal-you if you engage the 10 day process available on this website. The transformation takes just 10 days but lasts for years. You will change your wants, habits and beliefs. You will expand your capacity to think, imagine, decide, and shape your life to best fit your needs. You can find your future by clicking on the minimal-you button on the homepage of this website. Thanks for your time Richard.
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