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Writer's pictureRichard Lipscombe

Learn to say no.....


Practice saying NO....

The art of saying "no" seems to have been lost [see photo]. This is understandable given that most individuals care more about others people's wants than their own needs. The context here is that the world is dominated by collective wants [Climate Change, Social Justice, Diversity and Inclusion, etc] rather than individual needs [health, education, family, etc]. Ironically all collective wants are underpinned by the individual need to belong.


The power of saying "no" comes from the fact that most people do not expect it and in many cases will not simply accept it.. In our collective world individuals are not expected to act in their self interests but are presumed to be acting in the best interests of a team, group, or mob.


To say "no" is to increase the value of whatever it is you refuse to give up easily. The power of saying "no" is experienced by many managers of "talent". if they say "no" to what a client, venue owner, or event manager is demanding they will eventually book a better gig. Saying "no" sets the context for negotiations that are built on trust [handshake deals] not on convenience [business-as-usual]. Too many times today huge amount of value is left on the table because individuals, companies, and nations do business-as-usual deals. This happens because the world we live in is dominated by individuals with limited talent [bureaucrats]. These people are all too often incompetent negotiators and that deficiency is obvious when they refuse to say "no" to a bad deal [they refuse to walkaway]. These flawed negotiators are use to collaboration not cooperation. But. Strong deals are the direst result of cooperation not collaboration. These desirable outcomes are highly likely once one side says "no".


Saying "no" is difficult, if not impossible, if the negotiator [team] does not know what he or she needs. If a negotiator can clearly delineate a core set of needs then he or she can trust the negotiation process no matter where it leads.

Richard .


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